Socialization means we want to be liked by everyone. Even people we don’t like. We are conditioned from a young age to look outside of ourselves for validation.
Think about school, literally, we are told to behave a certain way so other people like us.
So, when someone doesn’t like us we feel negative emotions… everything from sadness to anger, frustration and resentment.
So, what should you do when someone doesn’t like you? Nothing.
What!!! I know, that’s crazy. You want them to see how amazing you are and you are sure you can it by sending them gifts, talking to them more… There’s only one way for it to go, and that’s creepy. You can’t make someone like you, full stop.
OK, your next instinct is telling you to feel sorry for yourself, mope, indulge in self doubt and make it mean all kinds of not nice things about you. Clearly, no benefit to you, the world, or your relationship there. Sorry to pop the pity party bubble but you need to know… it would just be you creating your own misery.
How about getting mad? You can tell everyone how unfair it is, want to turn others against them, even be rude to them. What is the end result? Still, a bad relationship and guess what, you made it worse. You have literally created negativity in your own life.
So, now we have run through the what-not-to-do’s, here are some truths to remember
1. Everyone is in their own head, thinking about themselves anyway. What percentage of time do you spend thinking about yourself? A lot.
2. As humans we project, if someone really doesn’t like you, that means they see something in you that reminds them of something they don’t like about themselves. It’s all about them remember (see point 1).
3. We are all different, no one is supposed to be liked by everyone. That’s life. No single person you know is liked by everyone, fact.
4. If you keep thinking negatively about them, how are you treating them? Here’s a coaching tool: whatever you think about someone, is how you treat them. Always.
The most important thing to do in this situation is really, to keep loving yourself. If you think someone doesn’t like you, read all of the above, then go book yourself a massage.